PI Plum
by 1catfish8
Summary: Steph starts her newly chosen career as a private investigator. Will her first case make her rethink her decision?
1. Chapter 1

Janet Evanovich owns most of these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

P.I. Plum

Ch1

My name is Stephanie Plum. I'm a Jersey Girl, born and raised in the Chambersburg section of Trenton. In the 'Burg, gender roles are clearly defined. Men go to work and provide for their families. Women stay home, keep a sparkling clean house, and raise their children to respect those same gender roles. I know, it's a bit archaic, but change comes slowly to this neighborhood. Things are changing, but not fast enough for me. I wouldn't exactly call myself a feminist, but the thought of being dependent on a man makes be break out in hives. I actually tried being married once. To say it didn't work out would be an understatement.

Since then, I've been earning my way, trying to make enough money to support me and Rex, my hamster roommate. I was a lingerie buyer for a while before I got laid off. When I got truly desperate, I blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into hiring me as a bounty hunter for his bail bonds business. I did that for a few years, with iffy success. My capture rate was great, but my capture skills were abysmal. Since I only went after the low bond skips, my paychecks were very small and not especially regular. To supplement my income during the dry spells, I also worked at Rangeman Security running searches and doing distractions.

My life changed for the better awhile back. My long-lost great-aunt, Elizabeth Price, died and left me her entire estate worth millions of dollars. I spent a year living in a small town in Illinois getting her house ready to sell and figuring out my life. Before I left, I broke it off forever with my on and off again boyfriend, Joe Morelli. I also told Ranger, the other man in my life, that I loved him and wanted a relationship with him. Ranger decided he was willing to give us a shot and things are still going well for us.

After I returned to Trenton, I bought a house. The fixer-upper is due to be complete this week. Even though I don't need to work ever again, I need something to do to keep from getting bored out of my mind. Sitting in an office all day is not my thing. I don't want to return to the bounty hunter game either, except for occasionally helping my friend Lula with a particularly wily skip.

Recently I had the brilliant idea to become a private investigator. This is the type of job that would allow me to enjoy solving puzzles, dig into people's private business and be nosy, hopefully without the physical danger of bounty hunting. Since my house renovation was nearing completion, I'd be moving out of my garage apartment and moving back into my house. My plan was to turn the apartment into my new office space. I've spent the past few weeks getting my license. Hector, a Rangeman employee, helped me choose the right computer and surveillance equipment. Ranger helped me figure out the best legal search programs to purchase. Mom, Grandma Mazur, Connie, and Mary Lou have been plugging my business in the 'Burg grapevine to give me some free advertising.

/

Stepping out of the shower after my morning run, I hear my cell phone ring. Quickly wrapping a towel around my head and another around my body, I dash out of the bathroom and rummage through my purse in search of the ringing phone. One of these days I really need to clean out my purse, I think, as I dig through empty tastycake wrappers, crumpled receipts, several tubes of lipstick, a pair of handcuffs, about ten pounds in loose change, and other miscellany. Finally my hand closes on the phone and I drag it out of the depths of my purse triumphantly. I answer on the last ring, not bothering to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hey, Steph. It's Vinnie."

I wrinkle my nose in automatic disgust when I hear Vinnie's voice. Vinnie is my cousin from a diseased branch of the Plum family tree. He inspires no fuzzy family feelings. He's a slimy ferret-like man rumored to have had a romantic relationship with a duck. Since I no longer work for him as a bounty hunter, there is no reason for him to be calling me. "Vinnie," I state flatly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Can it, Plum. I need your help."

"Gee, Vinnie, why would I help you? I don't work for you anymore."

"I hear you're starting up your P.I. business and I have business for you."

"I don't think I want to be involved in whatever business you have. I'm not loaning you money to pay off your bookie or to pay for extra sessions with Madame Zaretsky and her trained dog."

"Look, you owe me Steph. I gave you a job when no one else would. And you're family. I'll pay you, I swear."

I decide to hear him out. He _is_ family and he _does_ sound pretty desperate. "Okay, I'll listen. What do you need?"

"Not on the phone. Meet me," he demands and gives me a time and place. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay? No one can know."

"Not gonna happen, Vinnie. I tell Ranger or I'm not meeting you anywhere. I won't tell your wife or her dad though, if that's what you're really worried about."

"Thanks, Steph. Ranger knows how to keep his mouth shut. I'll see you later." Vinnie disconnects and I stare at the phone for a minute, lost in thought.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I make my way back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day. After working some gel through my hair, I decide to let it air dry. Two coats of mascara and a swipe of tinted lip gloss, and my beauty regimen for the day is complete. I dress in slim white capris, a cobalt blue cowl necked tank tunic, and flat bronze leather sandals. I finish the outfit with a hammered bronze metal chain belt over the tunic. I look pretty good, if I do say so myself. It's nice to be able to dress without worrying about if the outfit will be ruined by the end of the day.

I make my way over to my bed, intent on shoving all the stuff back in my purse so I can go. Looking at all the crap on my bed, I decide to take two minutes to clean out my purse rather than continue to lug around extra junk. I collect a recently emptied and rinsed glass jar out of the sink. The jar once contained an economy sized portion of olives. Since I eat a lot of olives, I tend to buy the biggest jar I can. I dump out all the loose change in the bottom of my purse. After picking out the loose pieces of lint, I fill the jar almost completely with change. I'll drop it off at the bank while I'm out and about today. By the time I tossed all the wrappers and receipts and put all the extra makeup back in my makeup basket in the bathroom, my purse was roomy and lightweight again. My wallet, phone, handcuffs, charged stun gun, tracker, panic button, nail file, multi-purpose tool, and the bare essentials in emergency makeup are the only things in my purse. Some women would say this was still too much stuff, but I like to be prepared.

I head down the stairs and climb into my Explorer. Before backing out of my garage, I send Ranger a text, asking if he could spare me a few minutes. I haven't seen him in a few days. Business has been booming and he's had several long days and late nights lately. I miss him a lot, but I knew that was part of the deal when we began our relationship. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask him to change how he operates just for me. It's enough to know that I'm in his life and that he spends almost all his free time with me. Ranger quickly sends me a text back saying that he has a client meeting in an hour, but he can see me before then. I motor out of the garage and head towards the Rangeman office on Haywood.

After parking in the garage, I take the elevator to the fifth floor, where Ranger's office is located. I wave and stop to say hi to a few of my Rangeman buddies, whom I like to call the Merry Men, before making my way down the hall to Ranger's office. I tap on the door and wait for Ranger's response. "Babe, come on in," he replies. I don't bother asking him how he knew it was me. Either he was using his super secret ESP abilities, or more likely someone in the control room let him know when I pulled in the garage.

"Hey Ranger, what's up?" I ask as I enter his office. He pushes his chair back from his desk and I walk around and sit sideways across his lap.

"Been busy, Babe," he responds as he leans in to give me a deep welcome kiss.

"Missed you, Batman," I mumble against his lips before diving back in for more.

"I know. I've missed you as well, Wonder Woman."

After coming back up for air, we rest our foreheads together and sit in silence for a minute. Silence isn't something I'm very good at, but Ranger calms me and I'm able to do the comfortable silence thing better with him than anyone else. Unfortunately, there isn't time for comfortable silence today. Ranger has to leave for a meeting soon, and I need to tell him about Vinnie's call before he leaves.

After I recount my conversation with my perverted cousin, Ranger's blank face settles into place. I jab his ribs lightly with my elbow. He's been doing better with the whole blank face thing around me, but sometimes he needs a little reminder. "I don't particularly trust Vinnie, Babe. I'll be in meetings for the rest of the afternoon so I can't go with you. I can see if I can get one of the guys to go with you."

I shook my head. "Nah, I have a tracker and a panic button. I should be okay, but I just wanted you to be aware of what's going on." Vinnie wanted to meet this afternoon at his little vacation house in Point Pleasant. I'd been there before, during the Slayer mess.

"Let the control room know where you'll be, just to give them a heads up in case you need help. Point Pleasant isn't exactly in range for a quick response time."

Safety concerns dealt with, I lean in to give Ranger a big smacking kiss before sliding off his lap. "I'll be careful, I promise. Have a good day, Ranger. Don't get shot!"

He smirks and replies, "Don't go crazy."

I have some time before I need to start my drive to Point Pleasant, so I decide to take my jar of coins by the bank. After the teller feeds it all into the coin sorter/counter, I am eighty-two dollars richer. Score! I decide to take my newfound wealth and go to Point Pleasant early, so I can play a few games on the boardwalk and eat some greasy fried food. I fritter away two hours and forty bucks on snacks and games before it's time to meet Vinnie. As I pull up to his house, he opens the door and looks both ways before gesticulating wildly at me. I take that to me mean he's impatient and wants me to hurry my ass up and get in the house.

Once in the house, Vinnie shuts the door behind me and locks it. I look him in his weaselly eyes and narrow my own eyes. "Alright, I'm here Vinnie. What do you need?"


	2. Chapter 2

Author Note: Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites after the first chapter. You are very encouraging! This chapter is pretty short, sorry!

/

Janet Evanovich owns most of these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

P.I. Plum

Ch2

Vinnie's eyes dart around the small living room of his Point Pleasant vacation home. Since I'm not about to voluntarily touch Vinnie to get his attention, I let out a shrill whistle. He snaps his eyes back in my direction. "I asked you a question, Vinnie. What's going on? What do you need and why are we meeting in Point Pleasant?"

"You gotta be discreet, Steph."

"I'll do my best, but I can't guarantee anything, especially since I don't even know what's going on yet."

"I'm being blackmailed."

I can't help it. I burst out laughing. I try to calm myself down as Vinnie glares at me.

"It's not funny. This doesn't just concern me. It involves Lucille, too."

That stops my laughing. Vinnie is married to a perfectly nice and normal woman named Lucille. I don't know how he managed it. Lucille is nice, but her father is not. Harry the Hammer is a mob guy who's been keeping an extra close eye on Vinnie ever since the Bluttovich incident. "What could your blackmailer possibly have on Lucille?"

"I did something stupid years ago. I made a video of me and Lucille on our honeymoon. Lucille didn't know I was taping us together. It's been locked in my safe for years. It was just for me. I swear I would never disrespect her by showing anyone else. I know I'm a pervert, but I love my wife."

Sadly, that's true. Vinnie can't seem to help himself with his bizarre sexual appetites and gambling addictions, but he really does seem to love his wife. Lucille and her father would not be happy to learn that Vinnie and Lucille's secret sex tape was no longer a secret. "So what's my role here?"

"I'd rather pay you to find the blackmailer than pay the blackmailer, not to mention I can't afford the price that's being demanded."

"How'd the blackmailer contact you?"

"I've been getting emails from one of those anonymous free email accounts. I also got a package at the bonds office yesterday. It was a DVD copy of the original VHS tape."

"Okay, you said the tape was locked in your safe at home. How did the blackmailer get it?"

"We had a break-in a few months ago. The house was ransacked but nothing seemed to be missing. With all the mess, I didn't even notice the tape was gone. The safe was locked when we discovered the burglary. I don't use it much so I didn't even notice the tape was missing until I got the first note."

"So now the big question, Vinnie. Who have you pissed off in the past few months? Do you have any idea who might be doing this?"

"I don't know. I've kept a pretty low profile lately. Harry's been watching me like a hawk."

Part of me likes watching Vinnie squirm. Another small part of me feels bad for him. He really had seemed to be making an effort after the Bluttovich deal to tone down some of his activities, although he still wasn't what anyone would call normal. He has every reason to be concerned that Harry might fit him with concrete boots and send him for a swim in the Delaware if this tape becomes public.

I plan on helping Vinnie, but I wasn't going to do it for free and he was going to sign a contract so he couldn't weasel out of paying me. I explain the upfront retainer and daily fees and bring one of the copies of the basic contract that I have stashed in the Explorer. Of course he doesn't want to sign the contract and tries to negotiate the rate down. I hold firm, explaining that my price was still lower than the blackmailer's price.

"Fine," he grouses as he petulantly signs the forms. He pulls out a large roll of cash and peels off enough big bills to give me the retainer. "I expect results, for this much money." I don't bother telling him that my fees are actually lower than the going rate for other private investigators. I wasn't doing this to get rich, but I wasn't doing it for free either.

"Okay, I'm gonna need the emails. I also need the DVD and all the packaging it came in. Do you have it here?"

"No, the emails were sent to my account at the bonds office and I didn't print them out. The DVD and packaging are in the little safe in my office at the bonds office. Can you meet me there tonight after the office closes? I don't want Connie or Lula to know about this."

That seems like a good idea to me. I like Connie and Lula a lot, but they are possibly even more nosy than me. I know they both have a nearly impossible time keeping their mouths shut about anything. I agree to meet Vinnie at the back entrance to the bonds office at seven o'clock. After I stuff the signed contract and retainer fee into the safety of my purse, I turn to head for the door. Vinnie catches my arm as I start to walk away.

"Um, thanks, Steph. I appreciate this," Vinnie says awkwardly.

I smile and nod at him before making my way out to the Explorer. During the drive back to Trenton, I try to think of who would be blackmailing Vinnie. Maybe it's a Plum family characteristic, but Vinnie is almost as good at attracting crazy people and pissing people off as I am. That's a scary thought and I quickly turn my thoughts elsewhere with an involuntary shudder.

My first step is to collect the evidence from Vinnie this evening. After that I need to talk to Ranger about utilizing some Rangeman resources. I'm hoping there might be fingerprint or DNA evidence on the DVD and packaging. Rangeman has its own little state of the art crime lab. I know Ranger would probably let me use Rangeman resources for free, but I want to do this right and pay for the services. I also want to talk to Hector, Rangeman's resident hacker and computer expert, about tracing the emails.

When I get back to Trenton, I decide that any further investigating will have to wait until after I collect the evidence from Vinnie. With nothing else on my agenda for the afternoon, it seems like a great afternoon to take a nap. I park the Explorer in the garage and trudge up the steps to the apartment. I change into one of Ranger's t-shirts and a pair of shorts and flop on my bed in my thinking position. I lay there only a few minutes before drifting off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Janet Evanovich owns most of these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

P.I. Plum

Ch3

I wake from my nap to the delicious scent of Bulgari and the feel of lips kissing their way along my jaw. I smile and crack open my eyes to see Ranger laying on the bed next to me. "Yo," I whisper, my voice still husky with sleep.

"Yo yourself," Ranger replies.

"How was your day? Are you all done?"

"Yes. My last meeting got cancelled and the guys can handle tonight's takedown on their own. I'm offline until tomorrow morning. I'm here to take you out to dinner."

"That sounds fantastic, but it'll have to wait until after seven o'clock. I'm meeting Vinnie to pick up his evidence at the bonds office. After that, I'm all yours."

"I like the sound of that. Tell me about your meeting with Vinnie today."

I prop myself up against the pillows and recount the details of my Point Pleasant meeting. When I mention the sex tape, I can feel Ranger shaking slightly. I look up to see him laughing silently. His eyes are lit up and crinkled at the corners and his brilliantly white teeth are flashing. Even though I see him all the time, seeing him like this makes my heart stutter a little. I can't help but laugh with him. After I get myself under control, I finish the story.

"So you got some money up front, right? And he did sign the contract? Don't look at me like that, Babe. There's no need for your rhino mode. I know you're not stupid, but Vinnie will always do his best to weasel out of paying money and signing his name to a binding contract. I don't want him to screw you over and wanted to make sure I didn't need to go convince him to play by the rules."

I can't decide whether to be charmed by Ranger's willingness to protect my interests or irritated that he thinks I might not be able to handle my cousin. In the interest of future happiness, I decide to go with charmed. Since being with Ranger, I've learned to tone down my slightly tricky Italian/Hungarian temper. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything other than a red face, rude hand gestures, and creative cursing in multiple languages.

I snap out of my internal musing and lean over to give Ranger a quick peck on the lips. "I've got to get in the shower now if I'm going to be on time to get the evidence from Vinnie."

"Babe, that's two hours from now."

"Ranger, we're going out to dinner afterwards. I want to look good for you. It takes time to make that happen." I roll my eyes. Men have no idea how much work it takes to look effortlessly good.

"You always look good, Babe. You don't need two hours."

"Well, thank you, but you're not changing my mind. Let me up."

"Maybe I could join you. You know I'm good in the shower."

That is definitely the truth, and I'm definitely tempted. It'd mean less time to get ready, but I'd need less makeup since I'd be sure to have a nice glow. "Okay, last one in's a rotten egg!" I call over my shoulder as I take off for the bathroom, stripping off my t-shirt and shorts along the way. I make it almost to the bathroom door when Ranger catches me.

A while later, I'm running around like a maniac trying to get ready at the last minute. If we don't leave real quick, we'll be late to meet Vinnie at the bonds office. Even though he's my sleazy cousin, he's also my first client and I don't want to mess this up. Ranger of course only needs five minutes to look like a million bucks and he's lounging against the kitchen counter next to Rex, watching me race around with a slightly amused expression on his face. Finally I feel like I pass muster and burst out, "Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready! Let's go."

Ranger takes my hand and leads me out the door, pausing so he can lock up, and then leads me down to the garage. Since I have a two car garage and only one vehicle, Ranger usually parks in the empty spot during his visits. He opens the passenger door of the Porsche Turbo and waits while I slide in and buckle up before closing the door. While I enjoyed the feel of the luxuriously buttery leather seats and the hum of the powerful engine, Ranger breaks a few speed limits to get us to the bonds office on time. Actually, we end up being five minutes early.

The office is dark and Vinnie's car is nowhere to be seen. I guess we beat him here. Ranger parks in the back, out of sight from prying eyes. He picks the lock on the back door and somehow disarms the alarm. Probably he knows the code, since Rangeman has the contract for the security system at the bonds office. I like to imagine, however, that he's Batman and has some super-secret way to get past the alarm.

It's fun to watch him do his super-sneaky Batman thing, but my curiosity gets the best of me. "Why are we here first? And why didn't we just wait for Vinnie to get here and open the door for us?"

"For one thing, it's always nice to freak Vinnie out," Ranger replies. I can agree with that, but I see Ranger wants to add to his statement so I keep quiet. He continues, "Also, I don't trust him. I want to take a quick look around his office first, before he gets here. It would have been better to get here a little earlier to give us more time, but this will have to do for now."

"You're going to wear gloves, right? Vinnie's not much for cleanliness and we all know what goes on in his office." Ranger's lip may have actually just curled a little in response to my comment. I decide to let Ranger do the searching, since I do not have a pair of gloves and don't want to catch a disease from touching anything in Vinnie's office. While Ranger does his thing, I stand lookout outside the backdoor.

Fortunately, Vinnie is five minutes late, giving Ranger a few extra minutes to snoop. Vinnie pulls around back and parks next to Ranger's Turbo. As Vinnie slinks out from behind the wheel of his shiny Cadillac, he calls out to me. "Ranger actually let you borrow one of his cars? Did you blow up the Explorer or something?"

Jerk. But his comment makes me realize he has no idea Ranger is in his office. Maybe Ranger could hide in the office somewhere and eavesdrop while Vinnie and I are talking. Like Ranger, I don't especially trust Vinnie. A second set of ears might be helpful, and Vinnie might react differently if Ranger was in plain sight during the evidence exchange. My mind goes back and forth for a minute trying to decide which would be better: hidden Ranger or in plain sight Ranger. Finally I decide to just let the chips fall where they may. "I'm not in the Explorer because everyone knows I don't do the bounty hunter thing anymore and I'm now a private investigator. Ranger's vehicle being here draws less attention than mine would." Ha! I think I'm doing pretty good with my spur of the moment fibbing and Vinnie seems to buy it.

"Okay, well let's go inside so I can print off the emails and give you the DVD." Vinnie moves towards the backdoor and I have a moment of panic when I realize that the door is already unlocked and the alarm disabled. As Vinnie turns the key in the lock, I hear the audible thunk as the bolt unlocks. Vinnie opens the door and immediately punches in the alarm code on the keypad. Ranger is magic as always. Obviously he locked and reset everything after I stepped outside, and I just didn't hear him.

I follow Vinnie into the darkened office. He doesn't bother to flip any lights on until he gets to his office. Once inside his personal domain, he boots up the computer and then turns to open a wall safe hidden behind a large framed poster of a naked woman. I keep my hands clasped in front of me, so I don't accidentally touch anything. I break the silence, saying, "You have to have at least some idea about who is doing this to you, Vinnie. It'll be cheaper for you to give me some leads to run with, as opposed to starting cold."

"I don't know, really!" Vinnie exclaims. I have to admit, he looks pretty sincere- or as sincere as Vinnie gets.

"Do you owe anyone money? Bookies? Pimps? Madames?"

"I haven't done any betting for quite a while and I don't owe any of my bookies. I've tried to clean up my act. I don't run tabs with the specialty services anymore. On the occasions where I do get some action on the side, I pay as I go. I don't owe anyone any money."

Eeuw. I don't want to know about 'specialty services' and the thought of pay as you go hookers on Stark Street isn't much easier to stomach. I guess I can't complain though, I did ask him. "How about someone with whom you maybe no longer associate, but with whom you didn't have a payment arrangement? Like a girlfriend or mistress or whatever you call it where no cash is exchanged for services rendered?"

"Yeah there are a few of those. I wouldn't call them girlfriends, though. I'll have to see if I can remember some names. I'll let you know."

Great, at least there's a chance I'll have something to go on besides the emails and DVD. Vinnie hands over the DVD. I pull a Ziploc bag out of my purse and hold it open so Vinnie can dump the DVD directly into the bag, which I then seal and drop into my purse. The printer has stopped printing sometime during our conversation and Vinnie scoops the pages up and hands them to me. I look them over, but don't know enough to know if they'll be helpful. I tell Vinnie not to delete the emails until after this is all over, just in case.

Vinnie turns off the light in his office and leads the way out the door. I wait as he locks up. Ranger is still inside the building, and I'm hoping Vinnie will just take off so Ranger can leave the building. No luck. Vinnie waits as I slide into the driver's seat of the Turbo and fire it up and then he climbs into his Cadillac. Again he waits as I pull out of the lot and take off down the street. I watch him in the rearview mirror as he pulls out of the lot and goes in the opposite direction. I drive around for a few minutes before returning to the bonds office. As I glide into the alley, Ranger steps out of the shadows. He angles into the passenger side when I stop.

"Where to, Batman?"

"Marsilio's okay?"

"Of course!" I reply with an eye roll. Why would I turn down fine Italian dining? I love Marsilio's fettucine alfredo with sausage!

After we are seated and place our orders with our waiter, I lean forward across the table and speak in a low voice. "So, what do you think?"

"I think Vinnie's probably made some enemies over the years that have nothing to do with money being owed. You may be on the right track with the jilted girlfriend thing, although I can't imagine why a woman would be upset to have Vinnie dump her."

Ranger and I negotiate and come to an agreement on the fees I will pay Rangeman to process my evidence. I'm pretty sure I'm getting a cut-rate deal, but it's better than free. I don't want to take advantage of Ranger's company.

After we get back to my apartment, Ranger and I indulge in some recently rare private time. Afterwards, while I am slowly floating back down to earth after a Ranger-induced orgasm, Ranger pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. "You did well tonight with Vinnie, Steph. It was fun to see you in action. Proud of you, Babe." On that note, my night is complete and we both drift off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Janet Evanovich owns most of these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

P.I. Plum

Ch4

I vaguely remember Ranger kissing me goodbye the next morning at the crack of dawn. It was too early to get up then, so I stayed in bed a few more hours. Now, the sun is actually up and so am I. As much as I hate running, I like the resulting body. I haven't had trouble buttoning my jeans in close to a year now. I decide to do a shortened version of my usual five miles, since I'm meeting Lula at the park. Initially, Lula was doing a slow walk/jog combo for twenty minutes with me right there with her to keep her motivated. That meant I had no excuse not to do my five miles. Now that she's picked up the pace and length of time a bit, I feel like I can justify dropping a couple of miles off my own run. I know, excuses, excuses. If Ranger were with me, he'd make me do more than five miles and still go with Lula.

Lula and I are huffing and puffing by the time we finish. We're both usually too focused on not falling down or passing out while we're running to actually hold a conversation. Afterwards, we walk a bit to cool off and then gulp down some water. Again, not a big time for conversation. Since I haven't hung out with Lula or Connie for a while, I tell Lula I'll swing by the bonds office later in the morning so we can catch up. Lula nods her agreement and then drags her slightly slimmed down self over to her red Firebird to go home and clean up.

When I get back to my house, I see Jeff Wolesky sitting on my front steps. Jeff is the contractor working on my house. "Hi Jeff! I guess I lost track of time. Sorry!"

"No, I'm just early this morning. You're okay." The only person besides me with keys and alarm codes for my house and the garage apartment is Ranger. That means I have to let Jeff and his crew in every morning, which really isn't a big deal.

"So how's the house coming along? You guys should be getting close to finishing, right?"

"That's part of why I'm here early. I'd like to walk through the house with you before my crew gets here, if that's okay with you."

"Oh yeah! I haven't seen it in a few days and I'm excited to see the changes!"

Jeff led me on a tour of my house. It is a three-story plus attic row house, constructed of a warm golden stone back in the early twentieth century. Unlike the cramped, narrow row homes of the neighborhood I grew up in, this house is pretty spacious and oozes charm. It originally had nine bedrooms, no closets, and one bathroom. The windows were boarded up when I first toured the home and it was pretty grungy inside. My new neighborhood was once very nice, but declined over the years. Recently it has seen an upswing and now the houses on my street are a combination of newly restored show places and homes still in their faded glory.

Jeff and his crew have worked their magic and transformed it into a five bed, four and a half bath home that still oozes the original charm. The gorgeous, hand-carved dark wood staircase that made me fall in love with the house has been refinished and now gleams softly and richly. The floors and trim work have all been refinished as well. The stained glass panels at the tops of the windows throw beautiful multi-colored beams of light into the rooms. The hideous red and gold bathroom is gone, a tasteful half bath in its place. The kitchen, which lacked all cabinet doors and appliances when I moved in, shines with bright white classic cabinets, white subway tile backsplash, black granite counters, and stainless steel appliances. It looks like all it needs is some miscellaneous hardware and it'll be done. The built-ins in the dining room have been refurbished so that the drawers and leaded glass-paned doors now open and close properly. Upstairs, the progress is equally amazing.

"Jeff, you guys rock!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, I know," he jokes. "Seriously, though, do you like it? Is there anything you want changed? Now is the time to tell me. Otherwise, we should be out of here in less than a week. Pretty much all that's left is attaching outlet and light switch covers, knobs and drawer pulls in the kitchen and baths, and doorknobs on all the doors. We also need to finish grouting in a couple of the bathrooms upstairs. Are you sure you don't want us to paint the bedrooms?"

"It all looks great, just like we've discussed all along. Don't change anything. You guys did a good job with the painting downstairs and in the upstairs hallways and bathrooms, but hold off on the bedrooms. I'm going to take my time decorating up here and don't have my color choices decided yet."

Jeff beams at the praise and we clomp back down my beautiful stairs to the front hall. Jeff goes back out front to wait for his crew to arrive. I make my way through the downstairs slowly, savoring the feel of my lovely home. I kept several antique furniture pieces of Great Aunt Elizabeth's, and they will look great in my new space.

As I step out the back door to go back to my apartment to get cleaned up, I realize that I've let the yard get out of hand. Since I'm already sweaty and yucky from my run, I decide to mow real quick before I shower. I drag the mower out of the small shed against the garage and fire it up. My yard is long but narrow and it only takes about half an hour to complete. Probably I should rake up the cuttings, but yard maintenance isn't really my thing and I decide to skip that step.

/

By the time I shower, dress, apply makeup, and wrestle with my hair, it is approaching noon. I told Lula I'd be by the bonds office this morning, and now the morning is almost gone. I swing by Cluck-in-a-Bucket and Tasty Pastry before arriving at the bonds office. Hopefully my offering of lunch will disguise the fact that I'm late.

Juggling the bucket of chicken, bag of sides, and box of donuts, I manage to open the door to the office. Connie and Lula both light up when they see the food. "Connie and I was jus' talkin' 'bout how hungry we are and now you show up with food. It's a sign!"

I don't know about signs, but I'm glad I've avoided the third degree on my tardiness. Lula sashays over to where I'm standing just inside the door. She relieves me of the bucket of chicken and flounces over to the couch. I motion for Connie to clear her desk so I can set everything else down.

While sweeping her papers to the corner of the desk, Connie tells Lula, "Save me some chicken, don't hog it all!"

"Better hurry up then. I can't promise nothin'. I worked up a serious hunger this morning and I've been feelin' faint ever since."

The office is silent for several minutes and the girls and I chow down on our lunch. Finally we've decimated the entire bucket of chicken, all the potato salad and coleslaw, and the entire box of donuts. It's a good thing I'm wearing a fairly loose-fitting sundress, otherwise I'd need to pop the snap on my jeans. All of our eyes are glazed over and Connie lets out a discreet belch. "I could take a nap," Lula moans.

I agree with her, but napping isn't really on my agenda for the day. "So what's new with you guys?"

"Not much," Connie replies.

"How's the bounty hunting going, Lula?"

"Not bad. The attitude adjustment you suggested and the workouts have been helping a lot. It sucks tryin' to be nice to some of these people, but you're right, it does help. Plus, I've actually been able to catch a few of the runners. Mainly just the old folks and the gimpy ones, but still better than before."

I laugh, but I know where Lula's coming from. There were plenty of times back in my BEA days that I was out-run by some of Grandma Mazur's buddies. "How about Vinnie? Anything freaky happen lately?" I ask them, not letting on that I just had a secret meeting with the man yesterday.

"Actually it's been pretty quiet around here lately," Connie confides.

"What happened to the never-ending stream of skanks going in and out of his office?"

"Harry's been keeping a close eye on him so Vinnie's been cleaning up his act. He even kicked Joyce Barnhardt to the curb."

"Surely not. Doesn't she still work here?" I ask, trying to keep my excitement to myself. I may have my first clue as to Vinnie's blackmailer.

"Nope, he fired her ass!" Lula crows. "She was pissed, but she didn't ever bring in a single skip."

"I never thought I'd see that happen. I thought she exchanged sexual favors to keep her job!"

"Like I said, it's been pretty quiet lately," Connie repeated.

"What's Joyce doing now? Does she have her next husband lined up?" Joyce's profession of choice is marriage. She's had a string of husbands and leaves each marriage with a settlement. She moves on to the next husband when she runs through her cash settlement from the last husband.

"Nope," Connie says with a smirk. "I heard that she's got such a skanky reputation and so much plastic surgery that no guy would even consider marrying her now. Or at least not the kind of guy she targets. You know, the ones with money."

A-ha! Joyce Barnhardt just jumped to the top of my suspect list. She may be resorting to blackmail as a way of making money if she can't hook a husband. The conversation turns to other 'Burg gossip and after a while I stand up and stretch.

"Well, ladies, this has been fun, but I have a few things I need to do this afternoon." I start cleaning up the mess from lunch. Connie holds open a trash bag for me to dump everything into, and Lula offers to toss the bag in the dumpster on the way out to track down a skip.

After saying our good-byes, I walk out into the blistering Trenton summer sunshine and gingerly climb into the Explorer. Leather seats are nice, but boy do they burn the legs! After cranking the A/C up as high as it'll go, I motor off towards the Rangeman office on Haywood. It's time to drop off the evidence Vinnie gave me last night. After that, maybe I'll go back to my apartment and run a search on Joyce using the new search programs on my new computer.


End file.
